The Mysterious Stranger
by reyin poetic
Summary: Someone new shows up at Hinata-sou.  How much will his visit change Keitaro's life?  Read to find out!  New chapter!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is a one-shot I did on the side from The Gemini Movement so I can get some ideas out of my head. The lyrics belong to KOTOKO, and all characters but the titular mysterious stranger are Ken Akamatsu's, and if he had a problem with fanfics, this site would have over two-thousand law suits on it.

Love Hina: The Mysterious Stranger

Anyone within the city limits of the town of Hinata could always tell when Mitsune Konno (a.k.a 'Kitsune') started a party at the infamous Hinata inn. The speaker system she owned had a way of turning the whole inn into a giant, bass-pumping sub-woofer.

That being said, the locals just rolled their eyes when an extended, whooshing sound like a high wind began soaring across the town. Meanwhile, inside the sou itself, Kitsune stepped back from the refrigerator sized sub-woofer as the lyrics fought for dominance with the bass line.

Please kiss my boy  
Hold me baby  
Sweet little love boy...yeah!

You can be cheeky (okay, okay)  
You can sleep late (okay, okay)  
If you've got a problem (open up, that's the way to go)  
Just leave it to me  
Your kitten face is (love, love, lovely)  
Looking at her is a (no-no, no-no)  
Like or love? Get sweet time!

"Woo!" Kitsune cheered as she raised a bottle of swirling sake, "Let's get started!"

Su was instantly swinging from any available object on the roof, attempting to catch Tama-chan for some after-party soup. Naru and Motoko, while not as enthusiastic, joined in regardless, each accepting a glass from Kitsune, who had taken on the part of bartender and barfly.

Shinobu, however, didn't join in at all. She simply sat on the middle seat of the couch, occasionally glancing toward the stairs, searching for her favorite kanrinin. Of course, he wasn't there, still repairing a set of holes caused by him going through his ceiling, Naru's floor, Naru's ceiling, the attic's floor, the attic's roof, and the roof itself, all in rapid succession. The cause of this flight was self-explanatory.

Everyone's activities were halted by a knocking on the door.

"Hey, did Keitaro fall off the roof?" Kitsune hollered over the chorus.

"Nah, the baka shouldn't even be done with his ceiling yet!" Naru yelled back, "Turn down the volume so I can answer!"

Kitsune mumbled at this, but obliged, the music going down to mere ear-spiting levels. Naru moved to the door, only stumbling once, over an endtable.

"Who is it?" she half-yelled, yanking the door open, and froze when she saw who was there.

It was a man, roughly Keitaro's age. He had messy black hair, and green eyes, speckled with black. He was wearing a black button-up shirt with a dragon embroidered on his left side, and loose dark gray jeans with a ring of studs along the cuff of each leg. He was holding an envelope in his hand, though Naru couldn't see what was on it. She absorbed this all in a second before she reacted.

"What the hell do you want?" was her elegant greeting.

"Hello, miss. Are you one of the tenants here?" the man asked.

"Yeah, why do you care?"

"Who is it Naru-sempai?" called Motoko from the living room.

"Would it be a problem if I came in?"

"Hell, no!" the temperamental red-head shouted back, "I'm not giving a perverted guy like you a chance to molest the innocent girls in here!"

"Miss, you might want to know-"

"Shut up! Any business you have can be done out here, where you're not near the girls!"

"Miss, I'm gay."

This caused Naru and Motoko, who had been just behind Naru, halfway through drawing her boken, to pause.

"You're..." Naru started shakily.

"Gay, yes. May I come in please?"

Naru stepped to the side, even less steady on her feet then before.

The stranger sat on the couch after taking a look around the living room. "When will Keitaro be back?"

"Um, he should be down in a minute," Kitsune said, "He's in the middle of some repairs now."

"Well, that's the official reason I'm here," the man said, "by the way, my name's Tsusoki."

"Wait, so what is your purpose here?" Motoko asked.

"And aside from your 'official' reason, too!" Kitsune pointed out.

"Well," Tsusoki breathed, "Officially, I'm here for my father, actually. He owns the hardware store in town."

Motoko snapped up at this. "The Tsume hardware store?"

"Yep."

"So my step-brother is your uncle?"

There was a unanimous cry of disbelief around the room from all but Motoko, Su, and Tsusoki, who smiled. "Ah, so you're Motoko! It's nice to meet you! Anyway, I'm here because Keitaro has been running up a tab at my dad's store, which normally isn't a problem, as he's been very prompt in his payments, but recently, he hasn't been making his payments, so I'm here to see why, and collect."

Kitsune's face fell at this. Se had been 'borrowing' money from Keitaro constantly these last few months.

"How much does the baka owe?" Naru asked.

"Well," he held up his hands, counting, "5,700 two-by-four planks of wood, 13,000 nails, 1,500 shingles, 500 rolls of door and screen paper, not to mention various tools and cleaning supplies kitchen hardware and paints. That all comes out to over 200,000,000 yen."

The girls all gasped at this, including Su, who wondered how many bananas that would buy.

"Yeah, that kinda sucks, considering. Especially what with the non-official reason I'm here."

"Which is?"

"I'm here to visit my boyfriend."

Shinobu's eyes were spiraling at this point. "Y- You mean?"

"Yeah, Keitaro and I are dating. Didn't you know? Ever since this one girl he really liked kept putting him down, well... He got curious. I was the same, too."

At this point, even Su realized some of the significance of what was being said. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"Well, I liked this girl once, but I never told her how I felt," Shinobu now stood to attention, "I was too immature to get over myself and just ask. So here I am now!" Tsusoki smiled and spread his arms theatrically.

"N- No, there's no way Keitaro can be-"

"I think I know my boyfriend at least that well, you know," Tsusoki deadpanned.

If the girls were anything, confused was at least three of them.

"Oi, who is it?" called a voice from the stairs. Keitaro appeared at the top, still covered in some of the sawdust from his repairs.

"Hey, Kei!" yelled Tsusoki. "Excuse me, madams, but I am needed on business." Tsusoki bowed himself out of the living room and dragged off Keitaro.

4 |=E\|/ |\/|1|\||_|7EZ |_47ER

In Keitaro's room:

"So, what's up, Tsusoki?" asked Keitaro, "I wasn't expecting you to stop by. How's the girlfriend?"

"Same old, same old. My parents are pushing me to pop the question, but I dunno. I still don't know how she feels about marriage. Especially since she'd be marrying into a family like mine."

"Are you kidding? You're the heir to a billionaire company!" Keitaro laughed.

"-that gives away several thousand weekly for repairs on his friend's place. You are friggin' tough on this building, man!" Tsusoki laughed back, "Actually, I can see what you mean about your girlfriend back there. She nearly took my head off when I knocked!"

"Yeah, that's Naru all right... You know, she's not that bad, and she's not my girlfriend!"

"Why haven't you asked her? You think Risu and I'd be together if I was shy to my first crush?"

"Hmm..." Keitasro mumbled.

"Besides," Tsusoki continued, "I think you'll have a mush easier time with the girls soon."

"What do you mean?" Keitaro asked.

"Oh, just a feeling, but I think they'll be reevaluating you pretty soon," Tsusoki laughed at the bewilderment on Keitaro's face.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Okay, then. Back by popular demand! The previously unplanned, unpublished, and underwear sequel toooooooo: The Mysterious Stranger! All who wanted it, enjoy it! Those that hated it, read it anyway! Do as I command, or else! Bwahahahaha!

The Mysterious Stranger 2: Mystery of the Mysterious Mystic Mystery, Mysteriously Mystified about the Mysterious Mystic Powers of the Mysterious Mystic named Misty.

"Hey, what're you doing, Tsusoki?" Keitaro yelled.

"Shh, quiet. I'm helping, promise!" Tsusoki winked back.

"By pounding my chair on the floor?" Hinata-sou's manager cried in utter disbelief.

His odd friend only winked again, resuming the rukus.

|)O\|/n57A|.-5

"Oh," Kitsune whispered.

"My," Naru continued.

"Kami-sama," Motoko finished.

"What's making that sound?" Shinobu asked, half-fearful and half curious.

"Sounds like fun! I wanna play!" Su cried as she attempted to jet up to Keitaro's room, before she was stopped by a veritable gangbang of bodies as the three eldest girls threw themselves in her way, and in an inversion of normality, caught her.

"Hey, I wanna play with Kei-kun!" Su's muffled voice came from under the bodies.

"No, Su." Motoko responded from her less than comfortable position, somehow being both on top of and under both Kitsune and Naru, "Keitaro and his... friend are having..."

"Alone time," Kitsune caught the ball, "They want to catch up, so we shouldn't disturb them."

Suddenly, Shinobu shot off up the stairs in a whirlwind of tears and swirls. Luckily, she turned toward her room, and not the one from which the regular, pounding beat was issuing from.

84(| 1|\| |3174R0'2 r00|\/|

"Are you done yet?" Keitaro leaned against the wall, obviously bored with his friend's antics.

Tsusoki looked at his watch, before finally saying, "One moment."

He then started beating the chair against the floor rapidly for several moments before cutting of f altogether.

"Seriously, dude, what the hell?" Keitaro's questioning look could have curdled milk.

Tsusoki only winked with what his friends soon learned to be his trademark style before saying, "Hate to bang and run, but I gotta go!" he then bolted down the stairs and out of the inn.

Keitaro tried in vain to catch up with him, shouting, "What do you mean, 'Bang and run?' Get back here!"

He then emerged into the entryway, spying the girls, minus Shinobu, all looking at him with strange looks.

"Sorry about that." He scratched the back of his head with his usual goofy grin, "He can be an idiot sometimes, but he really is awesome."

Despite the fact that this was meant to reassure his tenants, it only seemed to draw their faces tighter.

"Ehh, I'm gonna go take a bath. See you guys later," he started for the stairs.

"W-wait, Keitaro. Why don't you use the spring today?" Naru fumbled out.

"Huh?" Keitaro had a puzzled look on his face.

"Yeah! I promise I won't bust in on ya!" Kitsune added, nodding vigorousley.

"I-I have no objections," Motoko followed.

Keitaro blinked. "Alright, sure."

i|\| 73|-| 5|.-I|\|62

Keitaro relaxed in the springs for what seemed like the first time since he had first arrived there. But this time, Naru wasn't there, ready to beat his face in. Heck, she even told him do bathe here!

"I wonder if this has anything to do with what Tsusoki said earlier about having an easier time with the girls," he wondered to himself, "I mean, this is more than coincidence. Before he arrives, I'm put through five floor and roof beams, after he visits, I'm bathing in the springs without being attacked! He has to behind this!"

The excitement of the moment overtook his relaxed state, and he let out a cheer, "Woo-hoo Tsusoki you're great!"

And throughout the inn, all the female residents heard this, and shuddered.


	3. Chapter 3

Hey, all. In this chapter, we're taking a break from seeing Tsusoki, and will be focusing on the results of his actions. Also, rating change. Sorry if this made it difficult for anyone to find this chapter.

Love Hina: The Mysterious Stranger

There WILL be references.

Throughout the next several days, both Keitaro and his tenets noticed lots of strange changes with each other.

For one, Su, started eating in normal portions, but only ate a diet of bananas (unsurprisingly) cucumbers, pickles, pretzel sticks, carrots, egg rolls, sausage, and burritos. She also didn't scarf her food down. In fact, she barely chewed it anymore.

Shinobu secluded herself to her room for most of the day, except for the occasional trip to the local fabric store for sewing materials and yellow and black fabric. If you don't immediately have a WTF moment, go read my other story for details.

Motoko also spent an unusual amount of time in her room, and if anyone managed to sneak up to her door (here's a clue, no one could), they would only hear the scratching of pen on paper, and the occasional knock of wood on a tatami mat, followed by a slight moan.

Naru spent quite a bit of time out of her room, now, almost constantly with Keitaro. Whether he knew this or not, though is an issue of debate. In fact, Naru could, and often had, recall at least three occasions when Keitaro definitely didn't know she was watching him. Either that, or Keitaro had a very strange fetish of being watched during his 'alone time.' I'm just narrating this story, so I'm not sure. If you want to know, go email Ken asking if Kei has a voyeur fetish.

Keitaro and Kitsune, however, were much more active. Keitaro spent his days quite relaxed, usually spending his days wandering around, somewhat concerned about the girls, but not about to risk his neck. It also helped that he was able to spend his days relaxing on the full – body pillow that had taken to following him around, even into the springs. Which brings us to Kitsune.

Kitsune had full – on glomped him the day after Tsusoki left, stating simply that Keitaro, "always made a nice pillow, and it's good to know there's no 'bed – bugs.'" This perplexed Keitaro at first, and it still would, were it not for the two rather large worry – erasers pressing against him. (A/N: Note to my female readers, please don't take offense to the previous statement. Even though it is true, so very very true, I hold only the utmost respect for women. That statement was made for the sake of humor, and this statement is to save my ass. That is all. I'm going to get back to the story now. Where the hell is my parentheses key?) (A/N: There it is.) He now had absolutely no objections to Kitsune following him around, especially after learning that she considered bathing with a towel optional.

Needless to say the girls were all dealing with the news of Keitaro's newfound sexuality in their own ways, and Keitaro was thanking Tsusoki with every pleasant thing that he could do now that he couldn't before, such as bathing in the springs.

Unless you have no sense of dramatics, you know that this is a bomb just waiting to go off. Unfortunately, the fuse on this literary warhead has a couple of weeks on it, and I don't feel like narrating a full two weeks of occurrence, no matter how often Kitsune goes skinny – dipping, so...

7\/\/0 \/\/33|{$ £473®

Keitaro was lounging with Kitsune in a position that would have gotten him, and for that matter, many guys, brutally murdered under normal circumstances, when all hell broke loose. (A/N: 'Hell' is not the correct word here, but it conjures the correct image of havoc and chaos. What, or rather who was in chaos, however, demands a different term. I will correct now.) -when all heaven broke loose.

|{4|\|4|{0'$ |°0\/

Kanako looked up from her grimoire as the Devil approached her plane seat.

"Madame, may I have an audience with you?" he said, groveling, and praying that his mistress was in a good mood, lest she use the marshmallows again. The marshmallows... So many... marshmallows...

"Yes, Lucy," Kanako replied, returning her gaze to her book or dark arts.

"The, uh, disturbance you asked me to keep track of? The one concerning you brother?"

"He is NOT my BROTHER!" literal flames of wrath (Remember, she has basically made Satan her bitch) arose around her as she stood and advanced on the former Lord of Darkness.

"My apologies, mistress! Forgive me, please! Of course I meant your fiancee! The disturbance with your fiancee has gotten more extreme!" Satan absolutely groveled at Kanako's feet, not daring to kiss them, however. One could never be sure which shoes she was planning to wear for her wedding this particular day.

"Hmm," Kanaka murmured to herself as she moved to another, less on – fire portion of the plane, "Set the course to the Hinata Inn. Be there before I awake. I must make plans."

Lucifer had no doubt what she would be planning. His Lady would defend her brother from the clutches of another woman with nothing but pure blind rage. She wouldn't plan the death of the unlucky wench at all. No, he had been on laundry duty enough to know that when she was planning, it was most certainly involving her, uh, betrothed. Best not to even think the word 'brother' around Lady Kanako. She may hear you, or maybe just smell your fear.

4 (0µp£3 |-|0µ®$ £473®, 47 |-|1|\|474 - $0µ

The fallout from the insanity in the sou had calmed down, but it certainly was still there. All the residents of the well – worn structure were sprawled out in a rather large pool of blood. Shinobu and Su were the only ones with any fabric covering them, though none of it was covering their modesty. Not that there was much modesty to cover. Also, because I know you'll be asking if I don't say it, the blood was from Keitaro's nose. The other details I'll leave to the imagination, though suffice it to say Motoko's bokken, several scraps of yellow ad black cloth from a formerly glorious costume, and more than one mecha – tama were also on the scene.

Eventually, everyone woke up, and spoke their first intelligible words since Armageddon broke out.

"What... the hell?" Keitaro almost yelled.

"Kei-kun is crooked!" Su chirped.

"Well, not from my point of view," Kitsune commented.

"Please, Keitaro, I'm sorry! I'm sorry about all of it!" Naru sobbed with miniature waterfalls pouring from chibi – sized eyes.

"I apologize for what I must have done to cause you to sink to such depths, Urashima – san," Motoko bowed low, depriving all who weren't behind her of a rather pleasant view.

Shinobu didn't comment, only making an odd buzzing noize while swaying back and forth and giggling slightly.

"Huh?" Keitaro blanked. "Does this have to do with Tsusoki?" asked Keitaro.

"Yes! It has everything to do with him! Buzz!" was the general summary of his answer.

"Wow. He must have really made an impression on you guys. Sorry about that, I guess he's just good at influencing people. I'm going to go take a bath, excuse me. No, Kitsune, you can stay."

After he had gone, the girls all wept slightly, their various attempts to seduce – him – straight having failed miserably.

"Well," said Kitsune, "at least none of us resorted to bedding him this time. It'd kinda suck to lose your cherry to a gay guy..."

And despite their various inhibitions, mental states, and lack of knowledge of what a 'cherry' is, the others all nodded.

And then there was a knock at the door.


	4. Chapter 4

So apparently, I owe you all an apology for that last chapter. It may not have played like the previous two chapters, but it was necessary for the plot.

Love Hina: The Mysterious Stranger

Wrestling a Long, Wet Thing

Motoko's face paled, as did a good portion of her above the waist. "Um, who is at the door?"

The other girls in the pile shook their heads, and each realized that answering the door as they were would lead to some very interesting, as well as lecherous, stares.

The one girl who wasn't in the pile, however, was already answering the door, saying, "I've got it!"

The prize for guessing who it was is a slap to the head and a pin saying 'Captain Obvious.'

"Su, no!" the older girls yelled, and Shiobu still swayed, slightly, buzzing.

And thus it passed that the door was thrown wide open.

1|\| 7E}{ 5|R1|\|95

Keitaro sank into the springs, still reflecting on what had just happened. The girls had swarmed him, in various states of dress, including Shinobu in a bee costume. Where that had come from, he couldn't fathom, but he felt oddly like he would know in an alternate universe. Almost as though some cosmic author had written about it in another story, and was mentioning it here to gt people to read it there.

Where did that come from? Ketaro thought, Maybe I hit my head...

Anyway, they seemed to be attempting to have sex with him in the most expedient way possible. Fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, he passed out from blood loss around the time that Motoko started unwrapping her chest. He found when he woke up that some of the blood had gotten in his eyes, so he could see general shapes, but no details. Long story short, the girl's modesty was fully intact. Their sanity, however...

1|\| 7e|-| 41.- 480\/e |-|1|\|474-50|_|

Kanako pulled out a parachute from the rack.

"Lucy, come. We will parachute in to check on my fiancee."

The dwarfish mockery of the Devil hobbled over in the humblest way he could manage, "Yes mistress, let me grab a-"

"Of course you aren't using one of my parachutes, you dolt!" laughed Kanako. She tossed him a length of rope, "You'll be holding onto this!"

"Yes, mistress..." Satan's face fell at the thought.

"Alright," she said as she readied to jump, "I'm coming Keitaro!"

The Devil shuddered at the certainly intentional double-meaning, and how true it probably was.

|-|1n474-50|_|'5 |)00R

Oh, hi, Tsusoki!" Su called when the door was fully open.

Tsusoki had been coincidentally examining the wood along the top of the doorway when Su had opened the door. "Hello ladies," he said calmly, "This patch of wood is very interesting. Much more so then the blankets draped over the back of the couch. I suspect I could look at this patch of wood for several minutes, in fact."

It was a hint that few could miss. Nonetheless, Motoko, Naru, and Kitsune still had to drag Shinobu, who was still staring blankly and buzzing, and Su, who was just pain oblivious, onto the couch and under the blankets.

Tsusoki stared for a little while longer before looking their way, "Where might I find Keitaro?"

"The uh, the spring," Naru said numbly, having to fight the knee-jerk desire to kill this man with the fact that he was gay, and allowed them to cover up.

"Thank you," he bowed before heading in the direction of the springs.

1|\| 73|-| 5|.-1|\|92

"Yo, dude, I hope you're covered!" Tsusoki shouted as he walked through the door separating the changing rooms and the springs.

"Hey, Tsusoki! It's okay, come on in!" Keitaro called back.

Tsusoki set himself across the water from Keitaro, asking, "So, judging from what I saw, I'd say he girls are treating you better?"

Keitaro frowned. That smirk. That effing smirk. He knew that smirk well. He just never knew in what way he would be screwed because of that smirk.

"Hey, you want some help cleaning this spring? I have a machine parked just over the fence made for this," Tsusoki said abruptly.

"Er, um, sure?" Keitaro said warily. After all, the walls of the springs didn't have parking lots by them.

"Yeah! I just need some help..." he lifted himself out of the pool of water and went over to the fence, "I know the controls, you just need to hold it and aim, 'aight?" he began hefting a host over the fence.

"O-okay..." Keitaro caught the hose with both arms, and pointed it's business end into a corner.

"Ready, Keitaro?" Tsusoki yelled, smiling like an absolute maniac, not that Keitaro could see (see also: foreshadowing).

"Yeah!" Keitaro yelled back.

Tsusoki opened the water valve of the power cleaner to full.

1|\| +3}{ 5o|_|'2 |_1v1|\|' .-Oom

The girls were about to take the first steps to getting dressed when loud shouts started tearing through the building.

"AUGH TSUSOKI! OH MY GOD IT GOING EVERYWHERE! AUGH MY EYES! IT'S SPRAYING MY EYES! NO, THE WALLS! YOU'RE BREAKING THE WALLS! WHAAAAAAA! STOP, IT'S HURTING ME! AUGH MY THIGHS, NOOOOOHHHHHH MY GOD!"

When the girls woke up, they were each in their normal clothes, in their beds, and had headaches that increased in intensity when they realized that there was no way in hell they were bathing in the springs. Ever.


End file.
